Care Giving

I am writing this from my mom’s house in Okmulgee where I have been spending nights to help her until she recovers from her fall. I have two wonderful hired care givers who are helping me until she heals enough to be on her own. One of them is now sick and cannot help so I am here more than expected. Many of you have asked me how she is doing and she is slowly healing. Cracked ribs are painful and take a long time to knit themselves back together. I love my mother deeply but I am also exhausted from the up and down all night. Care giving is hard. Many of you know this better than I do. As we focus on the one that we love, we often don’t have time for the things we need and we are fine with that because we recognize that this is only a season.

Patty served with us yesterday at the TU Wesley Foundation as we served lunch to 116 college students of every background and shade and age. She had Violetta strapped to her back to keep her out of trouble and safe. When I looked at her I thought “She had no idea how short this season of baby/toddler really is.” I remember it being so very hard but so beautiful. Then many of you are facing parenting a teenager and they are so very hard to care for. Often when we look at them, we see the sweet toddler that we carried and provided every need. But now they want to separate from us as parents and they will listen to everyone else first and that is so infuriating! Because we know them best. Because we see them with the eyes of love and they fight against that. Staying calm and firm are the best advice that I can give to parents of teens. Surround your teen with people who will give them good advice and love them like you do. Be patient. Their hormones are crazy and often they can not control them.

Almost everyone I know is currently caring for a spouse or a parent. I remember being surprised the Frieda was caring for her mom because she lived to be in her nineties. Wow, that is an incredibly long life. We have several church members in their nineties and even over one hundred years old. It is amazing but also hard. Hard on the person who can’t have the freedom or strength that they have always had and hard on the partner trying to manage their needs and keep them safe.

This weekend I am caring for my cousins as we celebrate the life of their mother. It is so wonderful to get to see them and be together but it is hard to share the loss and grief of a beloved family member. I am caring for them by being their pastor in this moment and helping them in the ways that I so often walk with you. Pray for us all in this.

Finally, thank you to all the care givers out there. We see you and Brittney has resources for you. This is beautiful but hard work that you are doing and you are modeling for your loved ones how you hope to be cared for yourself. God is our companion in the trials of life and I hope and pray that you feel God’s strength and love on your hard days.

I love you and God loves you,