Asking for Help
As part of my job, I lift up ways for you to serve or help in the church or community every week. But I have to confess that I am not a person who is good at asking for help for myself. I love to help others and one of my strongest love languages is serving. But when it comes to my own stuff, my work, my home, my needs- I tend to try and power through on my own. And I would even say that I probably have missed placed pride in my ability to carry such a heavy load on my own. I’m not sure where this comes from. I am obviously competitive so there may be some of that. I have been told over the years that I can’t be a clergy person because of my femaleness and that probably lends itself to me wanting to prove that I am capable of doing the job of it. But my spiritual wisdom tells me that this is unhealthy. That if one of you came to my office with this burden, I would encourage you to ask for help from the people who love you. I would remind you that when you pull your hand out of the water, that it always fills in. But just because I know the right thing to do, it doesn’t mean that I always make that choice.
Driving home from Wisconsin early to try and make it to my Aunt’s bedside before she died, took a lot out of me. The disappointment that I had missed it and she was gone broke my heart. But my brother reminded me that I had been blessed to live in the same town with her for the last few years. That I had been to the hospital with her just last month. He reminded me that I had my time with her and she knew that I loved her. As a matter of fact, I had taken to kissing her forehead and saying “I love you” every time I left her apartment. Funny thing is that she would always respond “Ok.” Which makes me laugh! She was uncomfortable with my gesture but I am always telling my church people not to hold back their love and to tell people how you feel. So I did it and she knew. She never doubted if I loved her.
My aunt Margaret was a widow for most of her life. My uncle Jim was shot down as a pilot in Vietnam in 1971. She was only married for six years and was left with a four year old and a two year old. My cousin Eric attends this church and plays the bass guitar in our praise band. He and his sister, Amy, have lost the only parent that they have known. Because Margaret was raising her children on her own, she would bring the kids for every holiday and stay at our house. We had lots of fun sharing those holidays and vacations together. My husband has remarked that we behave more like siblings than cousins and I think that is probably true. So this week, I knew that I was not emotionally capable of preparing a quality sermon for Sunday and a sermon for my aunt’s celebration of life on Friday. So I asked for help!
I have had more than one person at the church tell me how proud that they are of me for admitting that I needed help. Which tells me that I need to do it more. I recently had a lovely visit with an Elder in the United Methodist church who has moved very closely to our church building. Her name is Rev. Dr. Sherri Wood-Powe and she will be filling the pulpit for me on Sunday. I will be there to help lead but I will not have to be smart or wise when my tank is so low. I look forward to worshiping with you and am excited for all the ministries in the church to be back up and running. I invite you to look at areas in your own lives where you can let something go or ask for help with the load of it. You can even say that your pastor told you to! Please pray for Eric and Amy and their dear sweet families as they mourn the loss of a woman who always filled a room with her boldness and joy.
I love you and serving this family of Faith,
