Heart tending

I meet with a clergy support group every other week and today we spoke about many things but the one that resonated with my soul was grief. I often say to families that grief is not some tidy linear process. It looks and behaves more like a bowl of spaghetti. It is messy and complicated and can completely catch you unaware. This lenten season, as we explore the meaning behind the crucifixion, is harder than usual because we are not enjoying the stories of Jesus’ teaching but focusing on the meaning of his death. This is a valuable and important discussion -and not an easy one. Yet, so many of us struggle to articulate what the crucifixion means for our lives. By staying in the story around the death of Jesus, it feels a little like a grief journey.

One of the women in my clergy support group talked about when her mother died. She realized that the grief would overwhelm her when she least expected it. In order to help manage these unexpected waves of emotion, she decided that she needed to be more intentional. She said that she asked herself the question “Have I tended to my heart today?” If the answer was no, she would pause and do some tending. Examples that she gave were buying her mom’s favorite flower to put in a vase in her home, kneeling in prayer and releasing her stress and anxiety, and journaling her thoughts and feelings. All of these are different ways to tend to our hearts and none of them take very much time. No one way is right or wrong. Each of us have ways that we tend to our own hearts. Like a garden that needs to be tended, our hearts require some intentionality, time and nourishment.

Proverbs 4:23 reads “Above all else, guard your heart,  for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV) It is hard for us to be loving or kind if we have not been loving or kind to ourselves. Tending to and caring for our own spirits is necessary for us to be the people of God. I pray that you will find ways to care for your own hearts as I try to care for my own. I have had a tough time of it physically coming off of the stomach issues into the busiest week of the year. I recognize that I need some time to tend to my self and to just be still. I also have a long list of things that always need to be done. But if I do not prioritize my mental, physical and emotional health than no one else is going to do it for me. May we all pause, consider what our hearts need, and tend to ourselves so that we may tend to each other in love.

I love you and God loves you,